Been 7 weeks since I had anything to post about. Longer, in fact, because I don't have much to say right now! Got some yard work out of the way yesterday, and I am so tired today for some reason that I don't plan on doing much more today. My biggest challenge at the moment is finding the motivation to go down the 12 steps to the basement and get the clothes from the dryer that have been in there since yesterday.... and not eat.

This has been a bit of a struggle, but really not all that bad. I am down 30 pounds and just yesterday I bought two pairs of those shorts that have so many pockets there is more pocket than not on them. And they were size 44. I still have a way to go but I have gotten it to the point where my stomach doesn't enter a room 3 minutes before the rest of me. And I can tell you what kind of shoes I have on.

Other than that there is no news at all. I will work tomorrow and have my holiday on Friday, deviating from the norm where I used to take the extra 8 hours pay on holidays but necessary because I have 4 things to do Friday that have to be done during the very hours I am working.

And next weekend, weather permitting, I finally get these 2 ugly ass maple trees taken out of here.

Status quo suits me fine!!

I am watching a show called Renovation Realities. It is basically a Three Stooges episode with only 2 Stooges and power tools. The one I just watched saw a guy taking down a small deck that is on a second level, and he was cutting the support posts WHILE STANDING UNDER THE DECK!!!! This one is a couple who have been freeloading off a mother for 2 1/2 years while renovating their house. 2 1/2 years?

I have seen this show before and I still can not decide if it is supposed to be instructional or comic relief, because none of these boneheads should ever be allowed to touch a power tool. Ever.

I just had a guy in to do some work for me and got to see it done the RIGHT way. He replaced 16 feet of gutters for me, which included nailing up a new 2x8 so the gutter had something to nail in to. The existing wood was so rotted that he tore it out with his hands. He also engineered, framed in, and installed a roof over my back steps, something that could not be done until the gutters were done. He also tore out 15 NASTY shrubs from the front of the house and threw them into the woods, which these guys are enjoying.



Today he will install the French doors in the kitchen, leading out under that very roof, and his work here will be done for now.

For all of that, he gets my van in a barter that works out well for everybody. I wanted $1000 for the van, and having those jobs done were worth at least that much to me.

My god, THIS episode is a husband and wife who can't even take measurements correctly. And by the sound of it, they will be divorced by the time this show is over...

I have seen this annoying commercial for the last time. From this moment forward, whenever this commercial comes on TV I will change the channel or take the dog out. ANYTHING to not see this disgusting product again.



Note that when they do show a male using this thing, it's some old guy who is long past the days when sex is even an option, because guys, let me be the first to tell you, if you buy one of these, you may as well just cut your genitals off, because you will never use them again.

A little tip, and once again I will not charge you for my wisdom, if your house is so cold that you'd need one of these things, turn the fucking heat up. Pay the extra 6 bucks for more natural gas or electricity, but by NO means wear one of these Snuggie things.

And if you ARE going to use one of these blankets with sleeves, wear it watching Pretty Woman or Nights in Rodanthe. With your boyfriend.

A young woman I know is quite religious. I laud her for that in a time when young people don't seem to have respect for anything at all. Her father is a preacher, she constantly talks about how God (capital G) does this and that and looks out for people, etc....

It seems to me that if someone believes in god (small g) that they would live a lifestyle in harmony with those beliefs. If they claim to be a Christian (capital C) that they should act in harmony with those beliefs.

Here's where the confusing part starts.

I am trying to figure out how hanging in clubs, drinking to excess, driving home in that condition thereby endangering lives of other people, having regular sex with many partners and generally living a lifestyle that would result in beatings if my kids did it makes that tricky u-turn back to Christian (capital C). I am 100% sure this is going to end up with an unwanted pregnancy, and the guy will have nothing to do with her after that. Her main squeeze is that kind of irresponsible punk, and he will be gone for good if he knocks her up, as he has done so already in his life.

I don't go to any church services. I have not done so in probably 40 years. After 12 years of having the Catholic church rammed down my throat, how I was supposed to live in fear that I would be struck down where I stand should I break one of the Top Ten (commandments), I started looking for answers to questions and nobody had any answer outside of "You have to believe based on faith." Well, no. I don't believe anything without an explanation.

So all of this comes down to this one simple, basic question.

Is it better to claim to be a Christian (capital C) and half step your way though life making the claim but not living the life style, or to live a christian (small c) lifestyle all the time though not claiming to be a Christian (capital C)?

I hate hypocrisy in any other aspect of life. Why would I accept it here?

Of course, the popular reaction to this is probably going to be "It's none of your business what she does", and I agree right up to the minute she has a baby and starts receiving welfare that comes in any part from my paycheck. Proud papa is supposed to support his kid, not me.

We'll see.....

I knew that buying a house included the inherent responsibility of paying for repairs, but man, it's only been 2 weeks and already I have had one.

I went downstairs Sunday night to get a tool from my shop. Everything was fine. I used the tool, put it down in the kitchen, and decided that I would take it down Monday when I had to go down there to get ready for the washer repairman visit Wednesday. When I went down there, I saw a small river of water running toward the drain under the utility sinks. I followed it back to the water heater, and felt around the bottom. There was a hole maybe 1/4 inch in diameter in that bottom ring of rust and that is where the water was leaking out of.

Let's see? Should I fix it with duct tape like the loser nut job that I bought the house from would have? Nope. I got up this morning and called our local version of Ed Norton, Jeff The Plumber. One of his guys, a very knowledgeable, very professional, very nice guy named James, was here and an hour later I had a new water heater in place.

Man, had this happened just 15 days ago, said loser nut job would have had to fix it!

So, $688 later, I give you, my first major house maintenance expense!!



The good news? As a result of a much more responsible financial behavior pattern than the way I used to live, I had the money to get it done before the leak ruined the basement.

And now I can take hot showers again!!!

There are so many social networking systems out there these days. There's MySpace and Facebook for the kiddies and iRovr for iPhone users... I signed on to one a while back but never played with it much until today. It's called Twitter and it works in conjunction with the messaging capability of your cell phone. You create an account and then locate people you want to "follow" and whenever they update their space you get a text message.

I told you that to tell you this.

Techie boy here spent an hour figuring out why my account "eastsideeddie" would not take my phone number when signing in, and why the messages I was sending were apparently going somewhere but not showing up on my account. Well, once geek boy figured out that the account was set up as "eastside_eddie", everything worked fine.

Props to my friend C for helping me test and get things working. C is on the list of women who I really wished lived near me. Smart, funny, gorgeous.... and very tall but worth the climb!

Thanks, mi estimado!!!

But the big news, I AM ON VACATION!!! I don't have to go back to work until Feb 17th!!! And the weather is getting a little warmer so I can do some "outside stuff".

I am SO happy to own this place and be able to make it mine!

Well, my newest toy arrived today. I convinced myself I needed it because I wanted a "travel" computer so I didn't have to lug the laptop. But hmmm, isn't that why I bought the iPhone, so I could get my mail on it and not need to carry a laptop. Oh wait, it's for watching moves. That's it. Movies. But wait, isn't that why I bought the Archos personal media player, so I could watch movies and listen to music?

Okay, I'll admit it. I bought it because I am a nerd. There. I said it. You beat it out of me. I am a nerd.

This little Dell mini laptop was my 9th computer. Yep. 9. I have a Mac mini, a Gateway profile, one home made back when it was still cost efficient to do that, 2 Dell desktops, a Dell laptop, an IBM Thinkpad laptop, a Compaq Armada laptop, and now this mini. It is like 6x10 inches, really flat, and travels well, which is honestly the reason I bought it, plus I bought a refurb with a coupon so it didn't set me back much. In fact the check I will get on Monday from last week's side job will be for more than this thing costs.

So meet the computer version of a family tree. Or The Three Bears. Whatever.

I don't know how I feel about something I have been seeing on television. Walmart is running ads about a check cashing service they offer where they cash checks for 3 bucks each "rather than 8 bucks elsewhere". And they go on to say that they will cash payroll checks, government checks (I think to avoid saying "welfare checks") and any check you can bring in. Now as much as I understand the concept of check cashing services, the first thought I had was:

Have you people never heard of a fucking BANK???

Open a checking account. Maybe, I don't know, SAVE a little money. Does your welfare check go right to the liquor store to where you can't put $100 per check aside so you can treat yourself to a little vacation next year? Maybe buy a newer car instead of wrapping yours in duct tape? Buy clothes that have not been "previously worn"? (The thought of putting on pants someone else has worn almost makes me vomit. Though I did get a laugh a few years back when I threw a bunch of shirts into a collection bin at a second hand store and just one week later saw some guy wearing one of those shirts at the mall. I don't know why that struck me as funny, but it did. I guess it was just that the only options I even considered were the collection box or tearing them up for shop rags.)

What is going on any more? Payday Loan (sharks) places everywhere for losers who have no discipline and can't go ONE WEEK without blowing their money. Making a trip to a fucking WALMART to cash checks? Have you heard of direct deposit. Geeze, now that I don't have to send my nut job landlords a check every month I will literally not write checks anymore. That rent check was the ONLY thing I couldn't pay online. My paychecks go in by direct deposit, my VA disability goes in by direct deposit, my tax refunds..... why go to the bank and deal with waiting in a line weaving through that little rat maze of velvet ropes (which I suspect are not really velvet) so I can do in 45 minutes what takes me ZERO by direct deposit.

Are people dumb, lazy or just stupid anymore?

Walmart to cash a check... un-fucking-believable!

At 2:10pm today I received an email that said, simply:

"Congratulations, the property has just been transferred into your name."

On December 18th, 2004, I moved out of my now ex-wife's house and into this one. At that point I was working as an IT contractor, was between contracts, had $500 in the bank after paying one month security and a half month's rent, and had no idea what life was going to hold for me. I knew it would be tough for a while and I would be scuffling to keep my head above water. It was so bad that I had to rely on a hot dog eating contest at the 2005 Fiesta Bowl for income to get some money in the bank. I had, and still have, a side business where I do in home computer repairs, but that isn't stable, as people only need me when they need me, and if I do my job right, they should only need me once. I kicked around from contact to contract, somehow pulling house calls out of my ass frequently enough to keep the bills paid. I landed a contract for a school system for decent money, but it wasn't a 40 hour per week guarantee. I relied on tax returns, living like a total hermit, trying to get invited to dinner whenever possible... really grasping for stuff.

Then in fall of 2005 I landed a contract that had some stability. The money wasn't great but it was 1.3 miles from my house, a nice benefit when you figure that the proximity allowed me to come home for lunch, let the dog out, break up her day.... That lasted until Jan of 2007 when the parent company decided that my role was no longer needed and that they would absorb the duties among 2 other staff employees. So panic set in again. And once again, lady luck (or mister magic) found me in a place to get a decent contract. That ran until the end of September when the project I was working on was put on hold and I became expendable again.

Once again, luck was on my side. I answered an ad for what was advertised as a job festival. It turned out to be one employer holding interviews at their location, and I had a feeling when I got both a first and second interview on the same day that I was a strong candidate. That company hired me, and training started one month after the last job ended. With side work in between, it worked out fine. I have now been at that job for over a year.

Now, what does all that have to do with an email 4 years later? Allow me to 'splain it, Lucy!

When I moved here, I had nothing, and a credit rating in the mid to high 400s. I was happy that the utility companies allowed me to have service with my credit history. I managed to find this rental home from a private owner, because the only way I could find a rental and be able to keep my dog would be renting without going through a rental company where they do a credit check. I did a lot of work on the house. I painted the outside. I painted every room. I put up crown molding and matching baseboard in the main bedroom, after installing carpet. I put in a new kitchen counter, cast iron sink, faucet and garbage disposal. I got a new side by side fridge/freezer, a new electric range and a big microwave. I took an ordinary deck and built it into a screened in patio. And I did this all with my own money.

Slowly, over time, I paid close attention to my spending. I made sure every bill got paid not only on time, but early. I watched my credit score move up slowly, making one big jump when I ran my report and found 3 outstanding items, one of which had been paid but never cleared, and two that I cleaned up immediately. After just under 4 years, my score went from the mid to high 400 range to 693. At that point I started saving for a down payment, and with the combination of the two, I was pre-approved for an FHA loan of $93,000. That was the signal that it was time.

4 years, 1 month and 9 days after I moved here, I was able to buy that very house. At 2:10 today the title transferred and I now own it, and sitting out here this summer will seem so much sweeter....



And the thing is, I didn't really live all that bad while working toward this day. I was able to buy a van, a newer used car, computers, all the stuff to do the improvements on the house.... I just traded having any kind of a life for it. And that was not that hard to do either, since I really have like 5 friends and I stay in touch with them mainly by email.

And while I sit here patting myself on the back for accomplishing something that has made me very proud of myself, I would not be doing justice to two other people who made this happen without giving them proper mention, Kris and Michele.

Kris is a real estate agent. I knew her by virtue of house hunting with my ex, hereafter referred to as The Princess of Darkness (PoD for short). Well, when it was time to consider buying, I called the only person I know in real estate, Kris. She worked with me in shopping for other houses in case this one was not available, she came here and worked with me on setting a fair price for this house, and got all the paperwork together. And the kicker here? This house was never listed. This was not a "sale" for her. She did not make a dime on this transaction. The same for Michele, the finance manager. She met me after hours on HER time twice to get paperwork rolling and get the loan application in motion. Again, this was not a sale by their agency and there was nothing in it for either of them. I plan on taking them both to dinner at a really nice restaurant where we live, but that doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of what I owe these two women. I will never be able to repay them or thank them enough for taking their own time to help me.

One of the things that makes me happiest is the fact that when I moved out away from PoD, she had nothing but bad things to say, going to lengths to tell me that I was a loser, how I was so immature that I would never amount to anything (funny thing is that she liked me because I am a free spirit - I guess I was a free spirit until the divorce, at which time I became immature), how I would never have anything because I had no discipline and generally that I should be grateful that she saved me from myself for those 4 1/2 really long years by marrying me.

Well, PoD, I have been waiting 4 years for this day.

I fixed my credit.
I bought a newer used car for cash last year.
I saved up the money I needed to buy a house.
I am living better than I ever did when I was with you.

And the grand finale, 4 years in waiting....

FUCK YOU!!!

PS I never really even liked you much.....

It's been below zero for 5 days. No mas!! Basta!! Genug!! Assez!! Bastante!!

Next week we will return to normal winter weather in the mid 20s, and I never thought I would say this, but I am looking forward to 25 degree weather.

It was -2 Wednesday night. It was -10 Thursday night. Friday night it was -12. Today's high and low are both forecast to be 18 degrees.

And I'll take it.

When my dog can't go 2 minutes without severe ice buildup between her pads, that's too fucking cold. When it takes my car 5 minutes for the transmission to get warm enough to shift properly, that's too fucking cold. And when I have to drive my car around a deserted parking lot to let the wheels heat up enough to free the brake pads, that's too fucking cold.

This is my "fire" pit....



Yeah.... fire....

Arizona, eh?

But enough of this shit already. It has been snowing for 26 hours and it is supposed to snow for 24 more. It has been very light as far as grain size but the early snow was when it was warmer and the layers underneath the powder are heavy, as I found out when I cleared my steps and walkway. That was 3 hours ago and there is a cover approaching 2 inches there again.

Looking out at the garage I can see about 8 inches on the roof. And what bums me out is that at some point I will have to put clothes on and slog my way through the snow to fill the bird feeders.

Fortunately for me, I picked up a pair of binoculars a couple of years ago that have a camera built into them when they were on sale for $25 at some drug store. (I remember when drug stores sold drugs...) And I can take pictures from my kitchen door of the birds as they enjoy their daily repast courtesy of moi.



Check the live cam out here .

I was reading some news stories on fark.com, my favorite source for news, and they had an article about the TV pitchmen I have been bashing here. Prominently mentioned was our boy Vince, the guy whose face I would like to smash with my fist. That in itself is not news, but they mentioned a couple of biographical tidbits about Vince. He used to be a stand up comic. And his last name is..

OFFER!!!

As in Special TV Only Offer!!!

That is as crazy as a florist named Rose, a furrier named Fox, an electrician named Sparks, a beer maker named Brewer, a mailman named Carrier, a lawyer named Crook, a baggage handler named Porter, a metal forger named Smith, a diamond harvester named Miner, an army officer named Major, a math teacher named Factor, a chef named Cook, and a baker named, well, Baker....

Or in my case, Lou Szer.....

Man, have you had to call tech support lately? Not only is it sad that most of it is in India, but they seem to go out of their way to find THE most inept people who speak the least English. I can speak from experience because the internet company I work for had their level 1 support in India for a year, after which they summarily dumped the company on their collective Indian asses. And not a minute too soon.

We were getting SLAMMED with basic level calls only because the customers refused to talk to the foreigners. I can understand that because when they called us, plastic manners aside, we couldn't understand them either. And then factor in a call going to India and then back to Ohio... by the time we got the call it was like listening to one of those shells on the shore of the ocean. Hiss, swirl....

Any way, I had to call my internet provider because my web page stopped working after they made us change the domain name of the folders to where we upload the files that make our web pages be web pages. I could give them the exact date because the security cameras I have running that upload all day long stopped uploading and I could see the date stamp on them was Oct 29th. My ISP has tech support here in the states but only the low level phone answering weenies. The tech support people are in the Philippines, and I, in the true spirit of giving props when deserved, must say that Ray fixed my problem in short order once I got to him and was able to explain techie to techie what was going on. Getting to him.... oy.

I emailed their email support system about 12 times and each time got a cut and pasted reply that had NOTHING to do with the issue as explained.

I am glad to be a tier 2 guy. I don't have to deal with people much, just technicians, and that is a pleasure because our field techs are good old boys and the chit chat while I resolve their issues is a pleasure. There are one or two assholes, but I guess that's to be expected. I wonder what THEY say about ME.... LOL!!!

Anyway, said web page is up and running, and you can visit if you like.

Click here to visit.

Check out the sub pages too!

And to any prospective thieves, smile, you are once again on camera!!

If you read my blog, you know where I stand about Mr Annoying himself, "Vince from Sham Wow". Well, I am watching some home repair show on DIY Network (which I watch like it's porn, by the way) and what pops onto my screen but this?



Vince defected from Sham Wow to sell some damned VEGETABLE CHOPPER?!?!?!

This smacks of the "Can You Chop This" episode of Sanford and Son where Fred was going to get rich selling Whopper Choppers.

I may never recover from this.

Vince, we hardly knew ye.....

I was in a store today and saw this display, and I had to stop, look, and snap a photo.





Today is December 26th. Yesterday was Christmas. And they have Valentine's Day merchandise out already? You have GOT to be kidding.

First of all, who has money left after yesterday? And second, would YOU eat a box of candy that was purchased 50 days before it was given to you?

I thought it was bad enough when Christmas decorations were up before Thanksgiving, but this takes the cake.

Well, the candy.....

I watch the DIY network like it's porn. I love the tools, the woodworking, the home improvements, the landscaping, all that testosterone based shit. It IS a little annoying to watch those same 5 or 6 sponsors slam ad after ad after ad into my face, but you take the good with the bad.

Well, they pushed me too far.

It's not enough I have to look at THIS annoying fuck at least twice per hour



as he sells this ordinary chamois like it's some revolutionary product that will save humanity from itself. As disturbing as that may be, he also makes the claim that you can't buy these pieces of rag in stores. Well, Vince from Shamwow, in your face, biatch!!



Here it is, for god and everybody to see, at the end of an aisle at BJ's Wholesale Club, the very Shamwow that Vince claims can not be bought in stores.

I should have known something was up when I went past and end cap and saw THIS little item



that they ALSO say can not be bought in stores.

When I can't believe Vince from Shamwow, what is left for me?

As bad as Vince is in those commercials, pay particular attention to the customer testimonials at the end of the commercial. I never saw such a collection of white trash backward ass country fucks in my LIFE!!! One is a guy with one of those mustaches that kind of wraps around the mouth but not enough to be a Fu Manchu. Another is a big fat woman with about 18 pounds of eye makeup on, presumably to try and divert attention from her 18 pounds of neck, telling us how she doesn't buy paper towels any more. Suggestion, buy paper towels, as well as some cold cream, and get that 1950s era eye makeup OFF!!!

When I can't trust Vince......

I go back and forth between "happy to be single" and "miserable because I am single" so much that I feel like a volleyball sometimes. And what a great analogy that segues in to.

The players that get the ball up off the floor are called "diggers". The players that get that ball up high for the action at the net are called "setters", and the power players are called either spikers or slammers. How appropriate. When I meet a woman who digs me, I set myself up and then get slammed....

Nobody does it on purpose. Nobody even knows they do it. In fact, they DON'T do it. I do it. I just go off the deep end too soon and too often. It usually wears off after a little while, but sometimes it hangs on and eventually I start to dwell on it and get even more depressed.

I need something between "happy to be single" and "miserable because I am single", like a regular conjugal visit kind of arrangement. Of course that is kind of hard to find. Especially when I prefer women of character..... LOL!!

It may happen for me, it may not. In the meantime, my heart is still many miles away.

SLAM!!

I suppose everybody does it to some degree, but that game of "what if" can drive you crazy.

There's a gal that has been in my life for a few years, and I absolutely adore her. She will read this and know I am speaking of her, and now know that I wonder "what if" about her A LOT!!

"What if" we lived closer together?

"What if" we decided to make a run of it?

"What if" it worked out?

Alas....

I just took a sip from my reality glass and you know what? It ain't gonna happen. The geography is just not going to allow us to even ask "what if". I am not about to move to where she is, she is not about to move to where I am. My life is here, her life is there. Neither of us is in a position to make that kind of move. It is what it is and I have to accept that. And besides, moving a life to a new city based on whether or not a relationship us going to work is, oh, I don't know, what's the right way to say it, FUCKING INSANE?????

In a society where 2 out of 3 unions fail, why would anybody quit a job, sell a house, move kids from their school, etc.... when it is likely that in 4-6 months after the new wears off that the parties will go their separate ways and the one who moved is now in a strange city, with few or no friends, likely not enough money to move back, no house to move back to, and no job when they get there?

Yet they keep on doing it.

"What if" people were smarter than that?

I've been thinking a lot lately and I think it might be time for some changes. I mean, the status quo hasn't exactly been working, so what the hell?

One thing I am going to do is join AA. I'm not an alcoholic, in fact I don't drink at all, but once word gets out that I'm in AA, that would be the end of people asking me to drive them to the airport.

I am also considering mutilating some part of my body, not to do any major damage, just enough to get me one of those handicapped parking permits. I have been walking from the distant spaces long enough. I am 57 and it's time I get preferred parking.

I may also turn gay. Not that I would enjoy getting punked in the ass or anything, but at least there would be someone in my life with taste to buy me nicer clothes. Women don't want me as it is, so what's the difference? What I would really like is to be a lesbian, because I know some really HOT women I'd like to take a run at.....

I am also going to stop watching those self improvement shows, because all they do is make me realize how seriously I have fucked my life up. When I do watch one of those shows, it takes 8 episodes of COPS to make me feel normal again. I still don't understand how they call it "self" help when it comes from someplace else.....

After playing my band reunion show a couple of weeks ago (and thank you Schmoopie for coming in for the show - I adore you), I started thinking back to how much fun it was to play music. Man, to get to do what I loved most, which happily was also what I did best, and get PAID to do it??? Is this a great country or what?

The band I played in AFTER Easy Street was a great Motown band called Cruisin'. We were REALLY good. Everybody played well, all 5 of us sang.... really a tight band and we ended up with a large following that came to see us in 3 states!!

One particular job in the early going was in Erie PA, and it was an annual dinner for a group up there. It was at a really nice place called The Rainbow Room just on the edges of Presque Isle State Park, and they really went all out with the decorations.

Well, typically when we played in Erie we stayed at a trailer park motel, so with the whole day and night, we would go up nice and early, set up the gear, get a good sound check, and then have the day to chill and get ready for the show. This job was no exception, and we were set up and sound checked by 1pm. We headed out to grab some lunch and then went back to the trailers and for some reason decided to start drinking beer. And drinking beer. And drinking beer. Normally we would set aside some time for a nap before the gig, but for some reason, this day was different, and by the time we dressed and headed for the gig we were so shitfaced we could barely stand erect, much less perform, but hey, the show must go on, and we went to play.

ONLY THEN, and an agent booked the gig so we had no idea other than "go to this place and play 2 sets of one hour each", did we find out that the group holding the dinner was ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS!!!!

Oops......